Just for a smile...

Rope start lawn mower - smile version

Go to the gas station to get gas.
Put some fresh gas in the tank.
Turn on the choke.
Pull the rope.
Pull the rope.
Break the rope.
Remove starter housing.
Cut finger on coil spring.
Mend laceration with electrical tape.
Go get a beer.
Finish replacement of the rope.
Pull the rope.
Pull the rope.
Pull the rope.
Take out the plug.
Slowly crank over engine.
Replace plug.
Pull the rope.
Pull the rope.
Remember to hook up the plug wire.
Pull the rope some more.
VROOOM VROOOM!
Start mowing the perimeter.
Sneeze continuously from dust and grass pollen.
Blow nose.
Wipe tears from eyes.
Keep mowing 'cuz it's almost done.
Break sprinkler head.
Quit.
Get another beer.
Call gardener.

Maytag - smile version

1. - Fill tank with proper gasoline/smoke-making mixture.
2. - Set choke.
3. - Assume the starting position with foot over stomper.
4. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
5. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
6. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
7. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
8. - Remove spark plug and check for oil fouling.
9. - Replace spark plug and check for -OUCH!!"- spark.
10. - Assume the starting position with foot over stomper.
11. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,POP,duh,duh.
12. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
13. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
14. - Stomp!...duh,POP,duh,duh,duh,duh.
15. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,POP,POP,duh,duh.
16. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
17. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
18. - Stomp!...duh,POP,duh,duh,POP,duh,duh, POP,POP,duh,duh POP, duh,duh,duh,duh,duh....
19. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
20. - Hurl choice expletives at the recalcitrant motor.
21. - Adjust mixture.
22. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,POP,duh,duh.
23. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
24. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
25. - Expletive deleted.
26. - Stomp!...duh,POP,duh,duh,duh,duh.
27. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,POP,POP,duh,duh.
28. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
29. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
30. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
31. - Jump up and down to try to get kink out of knee.
32. - Hurl salty oath at infernal machine.
33. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
34. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
35. - Stomp!...duh,duh,duh,duh,duh.
36. - Go looking for your axe........

	Results could vary......

And in defence of the Maytag...

Just keep it up, Elden, and I'll bring a Maytag to Lincoln Tucker's Show
& Tell and set up right next to you so you can smell and listen to it
run all day.

At home, or at a show, my Maytag single starts first kick. Last Spring I
set it out on the ground to get something else out of a storage van. It
was too close because when I turned around with my hands full and bumped
the kick start lever it almost started. I had the same fuel in it from
the last show in the summer before. I just gave it a little kick and it
ran till the fuel ran out.

It's setting in the basement now and I have to be careful or I'll start
it by accident.

If I had the room to haul the equipment I would be doing the laundry at
Lincoln's show.  Let some of the kids use my scrub board and hand crank
rollers and let others just watch one of my Maytags wash clothes and
feed some through the powered rollers. I did it both ways as a kid.
Mom's Maytag had an electric motor on it though.

I bought my Maytag single cheap from a guy at a swap meet that spent two
days kicking at it and couldn't make it run. I kept bugging him and just
happened to be there when he gave the last kick. That was the one that
smashed the beautiful CEDAR one-by skids that some idiot had put under
it. He cut his price in half and AFTER I had paid him he went and got
the rest of the display. I now have a nice Shotgun Maytag. 

I took it home and let it set for a day. Then I cleaned the plug and
removed the little mixture lever. I then screwed the needle IN 3 1/2
TURNS!!!! I put the lever back on so it was just barely off the casting
then pointed it straight up. I made a 2x4 frame to mount it to and set
it on the ground. FIRST kick it fired up and ran.